There’s no denying that long-distance relationships are challenging. Sometimes the two of you might have to go weeks or months without seeing each other, and that can be lonely, frustrating—and in some ways, confusing. You can’t always talk to each other anytime you want to, and you become very aware of your schedule—and of time in general, which seems to pass so slowly. It’s normal to feel a little down sometimes.
But here’s the thing: it can be done. In my relationship, we once went three months without a visit. Some of you may have to wait even longer, particularly if one half of the couple is in the armed forces. But for the majority of you, the time that you’re long-distance will, in the long run, be a tiny blip in the span of your relationship. Ten years from now, the two of you can look back on this time and say, “Remember when we lived so far apart?”
I find the easiest way to get through those stretches when you really miss each other is to just live in the moment. It’s cliche to say “take it one day at a time”—and sometimes even one day seems interminable. So force yourself to focus on the present. Go to work, and fully engage in work. Do your household chores. Read a book. Go through the motions, and before you know it, weeks will pass by.
If you need another little boost to get through the days, mix it up a bit: if you and your long-distance partner usually talk over the phone, switch to the webcam for a while. Try a new activity together. Make a point to send each other lots of little things in the mail during those long stretches between visits; or send your partner a T-shirt you’ve slept in or a letter spritzed with your cologne or perfume. And be sure to talk openly with your partner about how you’re feeling and what you need.
Above all, remind yourself of how far you’ve come together, and that your current situation is only temporary. You have a lot to look forward to.
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